parenting

I don't know if it's having a tween or a baby that has made me really disect and evaluate my parenting.  Normally I don't read self-help books.  I figure if you say family prayer, have family home evening, do family scripture study, fulfill your calling, go to church, eat dinner together, be nice, do your family history, food storage and visiting teaching, you will just naturally develop into the best person and parent you can be!

But lately I've been interested to know more about strategies of parenting and how I can be better.  After reading parts of some parenting books, I am really wondering why we are just allowed to have children on our own, with no official training or classes!  And although I don't believe there is one "right" way to parent, I have definitely learned some good things and gained some good insights.

For example, I've been inspired by Sis. Hinckley's advice when it comes to parenting, "whenever possible say yes, they are only kids once!"  In one of the books I've been reading, there's a section called, "Watch Out for Too Many Nos."  There is a list of alternative things to say instead of flat out saying just NO.

I took one of the examples from the book's section called, "Helping Children Deal With Their Feelings," combined it with the alternative answers to No, and tried it out with Emmy yesterday at Fred Meyer.

She loves these animals with big eyes and she really, really wanted this cat.  Instead of just saying NO and dealing with her sadness and disappointment, we decided to take a picture of it and I typed it in my phone notes that Emmy really wants this cat.  Now with the picture and my notes, I will not forget that Emmy loves this cat and she can look at it whenever she wants.  She can show Ali, too, and most importantly, she can think about if she wants this cat more than any other big-eyed animal (one day).  Sooo, I didn't say no, but we didn't walk out of the store with the cat, and Emmy was thrilled with her picture.

Will this always work?  Probably not.  Will I want to take a picture of every little thing Emmy wants to buy (a pack of Starbursts)?  Probably not.  And I think sometimes a flat out NO is okay. Sometimes a NO will have to do.  But I am glad I can add some tools in our parenting belt.  There's lots of room for those!  Yes?