the problems with a new car

 Now I know why, in our almost 17 years of marriage, we've never driven a brand new car off the lot.  It causes way too many problems.  Here are just a few we've experienced since bringing home our new van (swagger wagon) less than 24 hours ago.

#1.  Too much attention.
Everyone knows it's a new car because there's no real license plates on it yet.  How embarrassing.  Then people make comments like, "Wow!  You got a new car!"  I don't like it.

#2.  Everyone wants to be in there all the time.
The kids are just making up places to go so they can ride in the new car.  Because of this, their jobs at home are not getting done.  It's becoming a real problem.  And they're saying they want to go to Costco with me--on a Saturday--just so they can spend more time in the van.  They've never said that before.  Like ever.

#3.  I hate reading instruction manuals.
With so many features and buttons in this new van, I am at a loss.  I don't know how to control any of it (you don't even need a key to start the car).  I am forced to read the instruction manual which I generally try to avoid at all costs.  They have done a LOT of things to cars in the last 8 years.  I didn't even have an iphone 8 years ago when we bought our other minivan, and now I have bluetooth hook-up, a GPS, blind spot indicators, and I can play music from my phone in the car.  And that's just scratching the surface on this car's capabilities.  What will the next 8 years bring?  Wings??

#4.  The back windows roll down on both sides.
This may sound like a positive thing, but honestly, it's a problem.  All that fresh air blowing through the car does bad things to our hair.  And this family can't handle more frizz.

#5.  My blood pressure has been skyrocketing.
With a pristine, shiny new car, I am feeling the pressure!!    I have never gotten in an accident, but now I'm freaking out about getting hit, scratched, scraped, or bumping into someone or something else!!  So much tension!!

#6.  We are probably going to starve.
Any crumb-provoking, wrapper-dropping items are now strictly prohibited.   Since 1/3 of our meals and pretty much all of our snacks were previously consumed in the car, we will probably starve.  (I would like to prohibit shoes in the van as well).

#7.  This car doesn't know me and I don't know it.
It takes time to build a relationship with a car.  I mean, it hasn't taken us very many places yet.  How do I know it will handle all of the drives to see Grandma and Grandpa, or make it to California and back?  This car won't be bringing home any brand new babies from the hospital like our other van did.  This van might be surprised when I start yelling at other drivers or red lights.  I don't have a spot yet for my gum, chapstick, sunglasses, pens, etc.  We have none of our favorite music in there.  Or our favorite movies.   The list goes on...

One positive thing is that we got a great trade-in amount for our old, dependable, loyal blue van--even with the BYU and Mitt Romney stickers on the back!  We thought for sure that would bring the value down around here!  Steve said we should take the money and run before they changed their minds.

So I guess even though the negatives massively outweigh the one positive about getting a new car, what can I do about it now?

Oh well.  Happy Mother's Day to me.